Faithless
by dooleyann
Summary: She loved him, more than anyone had ever thought possible. And in return, he loved her with such ferocity that even those he hated felt his love. But there was a deception, a conspiracy built around them so that in the end, he hated her with everything he had, and she was broken. When he returns to free himself of their eternal bond, can she change his mind before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Little bit of a warning for you guys, Elena is really OOC in the first chapter or so, since she had her switch turned off. Don't worry though; she's not going to stay like that for the whole story! Next, the sentences that are in full italic and seem to be in first person are Elena's thoughts! " _Not again."_ is an example! Also, I listened to 9 Crimes by Damien Rice while writing this chapter. I highly recommend listening to it while reading, it truly does set the mood for the chapter! Lastly, I will have a polyvore collection set up for Elena's outfits in this story. I'll have the link to it in every chapter, so you can go there and look at all of the sets put together! Enjoy!**

 **(www).polyvore (dot com) /elena_faithless_chapter/set?id=157374183**

" _I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."_

She stared down at the body lying at her feet with a detached curiosity. A small pool of blood covered the ground around it, making her sigh in aggravation. She was getting sloppy.

As if ripping out someone's trachea wasn't messy enough already. She would have to clean this up before she moved along; as fun as it sounds, she would rather not get caught.

Not that a police officer would be able to shoot her down, anyways. Unless they were one of Sheriff Forbes' little minions; then she would have a problem.

With that thought, she dragged the body back into the car she had ripped it from. Deciding to do one of her favorite tricks to keep the Sheriff off of her ass, she used her shiny new supernatural strength to propel the car into a nearby tree.

And to be extra cautious, she removed a small box of matches from her inside pocket. Lighting one up, she opened the latch to the gas tank and threw it inside. Once again using her new supernatural powers, she high tailed it out of there before she became just as crispy as the dead guy inside.

For a moment, she wondered if the man had a family. Children, people who would cry at his funeral. But then she stopped herself; it didn't matter now.

After she was miles from the scene, Elena stopped. Dizziness crashed into her like a wave, forcing her to support herself against a nearby tree. Feeling her stomach churn, the vampire lurched forward and emptied her stomach onto the green grass in front of her.

 _Not again._

The whole 'throwing up after every meal' thing was getting old, _fast._

* * *

Elena sat at the bar of the still ever popular Grill She took a small sip from her glass of Bourbon, and savored the slight burning sensation it caused as it went down. She ignored the fact that the burning wasn't only in her throat.

The young vampire glanced over her shoulder, and smirked as she saw the cautious looks from her friends from a past time. Out of the four of them, Caroline was the one to approach her.

She was the only one Elena would have a hard time killing. And from the look on Caroline's face, she already knew that.

"Elena." Caroline showed her that award-winning smile, "How have you been?"

"Same old, same old." Elena smiled politely, "Dropping bodies left and right."

She paused, and leaned closer dramatically, "You know, I've heard that you've been a little bit of a bunny killer lately. Has Stefan finally changed you're horrendous ways?"

Caroline frowned. "Choosing not to kill humans isn't a bad thing, Elena."

"Hmm." Elena took a sip from her glass. "That sounds very Stefan-y."

"Stefan has been very supportive of my decision to not drink human blood."

"Sounds like you two have gotten pretty close since I left. Have you been warming up the right side of his bed?" Elena asked, knowing it would set Caroline off.

Caroline's mouth dropped open, causing Elena to smirk. "What _happened_ to you?"

Elena stopped smirking. "You know what happened to me."

"We can help you, Elena. We know that you've lost your path, but we are here for you. All we want is our friend back." Caroline's eyes shined with sympathy, and Elena hated every second of it.

Elena tossed back her glass, finishing it off. "I don't need your help. If I did, I would have came to you months ago. This is who I am now. Love it, hate it, I don't care. Just stay out of my way and we won't have a problem."

Tossing a few bills onto the counter, she stood up from her seat, and grabbed her leather jacket. Elena was about to push open the door to leave when Caroline spoke, "Damon wouldn't have wanted this for you."

Elena froze. She clenched her jaw, and turned her head slightly toward Caroline. "He isn't here to want anything for me."

And with that, she pushed her way through the doors, but not without Caroline noticing the shine of a lone tear on Elena's cheek.

* * *

She was irrational, angry, and drunk. The combination of the first two was frightening enough, but adding alcohol to the mix was just begging for trouble.

But Elena wanted trouble. She _was_ begging for it. All she wanted was to not feel for a while, because she found that even when she flipped the switch on her emotions little cracks appeared over time. The young woman knew she couldn't hide behind her mask forever.

So, she wanted to make the most of the time she had left.

Once again, Elena found herself staring at a bloodless body. She still was hungry. But then again, she never really felt full. She could drain body after body and still have room for one more. Which was most likely due to the fact that after every body she drained, she threw it all back up; and then some.

"Elena?"

She groaned, "Not now, Stefan." She gestured to the body at her feet, "Can't you see I'm busy?"

Stefan glanced down at the woman on the ground. "You killed her."

"Yes, I did."

"Don't you feel _any_ regret?" Stefan looked appalled, but she was used to looks like that by now.

"I turned off my switch, in case you forgot." Elena stared at him, wondering how long it would take before he gave up and left. "Now stop making that face, you look like you just drank from a disease infested rabbit."

He shook his head. "This isn't the Elena I knew."

Elena let out a dry laugh, "Get in line, Stefan. I've heard this speech more times than I can count."

"I don't care, Elena!" He ran his hands through his hair. Elena remembered that there was a time when the action would cause her body to fill with molten lava. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. I know how it feels. I know you don't _want_ to feel. But it's just an illusion! You can't 'switch' it off. It doesn't work! I've tried, and every time, it ends up turning back on and all I'm left with is the _guilt_. I don't want this for you. _No one does_."

Elena clenched her jaw. "I can't turn it back on, Stefan. I can't."

He released a short, dry laugh, "I used to say the same thing."

She felt herself fill to the brim with anger. Her lip turned upwards in disgust, "You don't get to compare our stories, Stefan. Your mate didn't abandon you for the conniving _bitch_ they loved as a human. You didn't almost _die_ because you're whole fucking body felt as if was being ripped apart and taken with them. You didn't go through _withdrawals_ from being away from your mate. You don't throw up everything you ingest because your body doesn't want to live without _them_. _Never_ compare my pain to yours. I would kill every person in this town to only have to deal with the _guilt_."

Feeling herself getting sick once more, she turned away from Stefan to empty her stomach. She took that time to carefully replace the fragments of her composure. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she turned towards the vampire in front of her with a small smirk. "See?"

Stefan looked at the ground where she had thrown up, and nodded in defeat. He looked back up, and paused before he spoke, "I talked to Damon."

Elena felt a distant sharpness on her chest. She recognized it as pain. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because he's coming back, Elena."

She thought she was going to black out. Elena sucked in a breath of air. "You're lying. He said he would never come back. He said he didn't want to come back."

Elena felt as if she couldn't breathe. _He's coming back._

"I wouldn't lie to you about this." Stefan stated. "He's on his way back now. He should be here in two days."

Two days. _Two days_. Two days until she would see her- no. Two days until she would see _Damon_. He isn't hers anymore. He made sure of that before he left her.

She couldn't see him, not yet. Elena didn't know how to handle the fact that he was coming back. She wanted to believe it. She stared at Stefan, shaking her head in disbelief. Slowly backing away, the young vampire felt her composure falling to pieces once again.

"No, no, _no._ " Elena was gasping for air, filling her lungs unnecessarily with oxygen. She felt dizzy, and a black haze began to appear in the corners of her vision.

Her mind was racing, and she felt as if she was going to be sick again.

So she ran.

* * *

Trees flew past her at a blinding speed, and everything was a blur of green. Elena didn't know how long she had been running, but she knew that she must have been miles from Mystic Falls.

For a moment, Elena pondered the thought of leaving. She could keep running, and not look back. She could do what Damon did to her.

That stopped her thoughts of running away. She wouldn't do to him what he did to her. No one deserved that pain, not even the inflictor.

Elena stopped running, and leaned her back against a nearby tree. Closing her eyes, she tried to wrap her head around the fact that he was returning.

And she got angry.

Her veins were set ablaze with fire as she thought of him coming back so suddenly. Why now? She needed him _months_ ago and _now_ he wanted to return?

The vampire turned and harshly kicked the tree she had been leaning on, causing it to fall over with a loud crash. She felt as if someone had released liquid fire into her veins. How could he _do_ this to her?

Elena had convinced herself that she was getting better; that day by day the bond her and Damon shared was being weakened. That mating wasn't as permanent as everyone made it seem.

Him coming back would make all of her convincing worth nothing.

And then he would leave once he got what he wanted from her, forcing her to fix herself once again. She couldn't do it. She _wouldn't_ do it. If he left again, Elena would take off her daylight ring in the midday's sun, and let it burn her until she was nothing more than ash on the pavement.

Sitting on the forest floor, the young woman put her head in her hands. She didn't know how she was going to get through this. Two days wasn't enough time to accept this. Two days wasn't enough time to figure out a way to keep herself from falling into his arms the second she saw him.

But if she were being honest with herself, an eternity wouldn't be enough time.

Suddenly, a twig snapped in the distance. Elena shot up, and listened as the snapping continued to get closer and closer. She couldn't tell what direction it was coming from because of her panicked state, and turned around, trying to pin point the noise.

Elena didn't have to.

"Hello, Elena."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood straight. "Damon?"

She heard his chuckle, and felt herself fall apart from the inside out.

 _I still love him._

He was right behind her, with his cool breath lightly fanning across her neck and shoulders. Elena shivered in delight.

"Someone's happy to see me." She could practically hear his smirk.

"But Stefan said-" Elena started.

"Shhh…" Damon whispered, coming closer so that their bodies were touching slightly, "What matters is that I'm here now."

The young woman almost let her head fall back into him, but stopped herself at the last moment. Wasn't she missing something?

The wind shifted, causing Damon's scent to reach her keen nose. Elena inhaled deeply, feeling as if she could get high off of his scent alone. But something was… _off_ about it.

It was mixed with the scent of the _bitch._

Elena growled, and spun away from Damon, barely missing his hand that had been poised to rip her throat out. _He had been planning to kill me. My mate, my Damon, was going to kill me in cold blood._

Meeting his cerulean eyes, she crouched down and hissed. "You _traitor._ "

The man narrowed his eyes. "You know nothing, _mate._ "

She paused, standing up straight. He said that word as if it was a joke _._ As if _she_ was a joke. Elena glared at him with hurt, "How can you say that? You're right Damon, I am your mate. Does that mean nothing to you? Am I really that worthless? I _loved_ you. I gave you _everything!_ And you just…just left! Like I was no more than some quick fuck!"

By the end of her speech, she was close to sobbing uncontrollably. Her face was covered in tears; her switch was broken, and so was she.

Damon stared at her in anger. "I may be mated to you, Elena, but do not mistaken my return for me coming back to you. I don't give a _fuck_ if you gave me everything. You mean nothing to me."

Elena stared at him in shock. Her mind shut down, following her heart. She felt her face harden, and her tears dry. She was dying on the inside, and felt as if she had more blood to throw up. Instead, she laughed bitterly. "And to think I became this monster so that I could be with you forever."

He continued to glare at her, but didn't respond. Elena decided that was her cue to leave. With her switch now firmly in place, and obviously turned off, she began to turn around to leave.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Damon growled, moving closer to her. Elena stepped back.

"I'm leaving. I thought that was what you wanted." Elena stated emotionlessly, staring through him as if he wasn't there at all.

"No, what I _want_ is for you to be gone. And there's only one way to make sure you _stay_ gone." Damon smirked. Her eyes widened in shock.

"You really want to kill me?"

"Now you're getting it!" His smirk turned sinister, before charging at her.

With her lighter weight, she was able to side step him. Elena couldn't believe this was happening. Her _mate_ was trying to kill her, _again._

"Why are you doing this?" She yelled, trying to dodge his advances towards her.

Damon stopped so suddenly that it gave Elena a headache, "I _saw_ you, Elena. With Stefan."

"What? What are you talking about?" Elena was staring at him in disbelief.

"Don't act like you don't know, you _whore_!" Damon shouted, lunging at her once again.

The young woman felt tears form in her eyes. This wasn't her Damon; her Damon would have never of called her that. With that in mind, she knew that as long as she was near him he wouldn't stop until he killed her.

Elena dashed towards the woods, narrowly missing his hands. She sped back towards Mystic Falls, hoping that he wasn't so delusional as to try to attack her in the middle of town.

* * *

 _BANG BANG BANG_

"Caroline!" Elena shouted, pounding on the front door once more. She quickly turned around, panting. Somehow she had lost him at the edge of town, but the vampire wasn't going to relax just yet. " _Caroline!_ "

The young woman raised her hand to begin knocking once again, when it flew open. Caroline stared at Elena in angered shock. "What the _hell_ are you doing?! It's two in the morning!"

"Let me in, _please_." Elena begged, ready to get to her knees if she had to. She quickly turned around, checking the empty street behind her.

Caroline crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at the desperate vampire in front of her. "And why should I? You said I was sleeping with Stefan!"

"Caroline _please_!" Elena felt like crying. She didn't want to die, not yet anyways. "He's going to kill me!"

"Who is?" The blonde woman checked the street in front of her, seeing nothing. "I don't see anyone."

"I'll explain when I get inside, just please let me in!" Elena begged once again, looking over her shoulder at the still empty street.

Huffing, Caroline moved out of the way. "This better be good."

Elena dashed inside like a bat out of hell, before sitting on the couch and pulling her knees up to her chest. "He's going to kill me."

Caroline sighed, and sat down in the chair across from Elena. "Who's trying to kill you, Elena?"

The young vampire stared ahead, not really seeing the wall in front of her. "Damon. He hates me. He wants to kill me so we don't have to be mated anymore. He accused me of ch-cheating on him."

The blonde vampire's eyes widened. "Wait- Damon's back?"

Elena nodded. "He wasn't supposed to be here for two more days."

"This is so messed up." Caroline sat forward, massaging her temple with her fingers.

"I thought he loved me." Elena stated, feeling her eyes beginning to tear up. "I didn't want to believe that he would really leave me for her."

She paused, before looking Caroline in the eyes. "Maybe I should just let him do it."

The other woman looked at her as if she was insane. "There's no way that is _ever_ going to happen. No one is going to let him kill you, Elena."

Elena sat up on the couch, and leaned forward. "But I don't want to live knowing he hates me! I don't want to watch him be with her when he was made to be with me! I won't do it, Caroline, I won't. So if that means he has to kill me to prevent that, then I will gladly sharpen the stake myself."

Caroline stared at Elena with sad eyes. "He really left a number on you, honey." She looked down at her hands for a moment. "But I don't want to lose my best friend."

"I haven't been that person in a long time." Elena stated.

"No, but she's in there still. I know she is." Caroline stated. "As long as he's alive, then so is she."

"But he's convinced that I cheated on him!" Elena cried, covering her face with her hands. "I don't know how to show him that I would never do that! He's the one who cheated on _me_!"

Caroline sighed, "I know, but there has to be a way to prove to him that you didn't do that."

"But how-" Elena started.

 _BANG BANG BANG_

"Open up, Caroline!" Damon shouted from outside the front door. "Don't make me tear this fucking door down!"

Caroline's eyes widened drastically, "Is he insane?!"

Elena ignored Caroline in favor of leaping off the couch to back into the corner. Sliding down the wall, she stared at the front door as if the devil himself was behind it. "He's going to kill me. He's going to kill me. He's going to kill me."

The woman's entire body was shaking, and, if possible, she looked even paler than she already was.

Caroline stared at Elena in shock, but her gaze hardened when Damon began banging on the door once again. "I'm not going to let him kill you."

Elena once again ignored the other vampire. Standing, she made her decision. "I'm going to let him do it. I'm not going to let him kill anyone because he's trying to get to me."

"But-"

Elena raised her still shaking hand, and fixated her gaze on the door. "You won't change my decision."

Before Caroline could stop her, Elena dashed to the door and flung it open.

"How heroic of you, _Elena._ Too bad you'll be dead before you can save anyone else." Damon smirked before grabbing Elena and breaking her neck.


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter! Thank you so much for your reviews! I can't answer any of your questions though, because that would ruin the surprise! Also, this chapter is _very_ graphic, so please don't read this if you are uncomfortable. Lastly, I do NOT support this type of relationship, or think that Damon is actually like this. This is purely fan fiction based. Lastly, I know it probably is very confusing, and you may be frustrated with the fact that Elena isn't trying to defend herself from Damon's accusations, but that will be discussed in this chapter! With that, enjoy!**

 **(www). polyvore (dot com) /elena_faithless_chapter/set?id=157374183**

 _"You are going to break your promise. I understand. And I hold my hands over the ears of my heart, so that I will not hate you."_

When she woke, she awoke in darkness. For a moment she thought to be dead, but soon realized she was wrong. If she were dead she wouldn't thirst for human blood and wouldn't feel an excruciating pain in her wrists and ankles. She drifted in and out of consciousness for an unknown period of time, and with each time she woke she felt weaker and weaker. Soon, she wouldn't even be able to stand.

* * *

Elena did not know where she was, or how she got there. All she remembered was _him_ breaking her neck and darkness surrounding her like an ominous cloud. Her chest ached at the thought of why he did such a thing.

 _He's going to kill me._

The thought should have frightened, even terrified her, but yet all she could bring herself to feel was peace with his decision. She loved him, even now, and if he had to kill her to find happiness then she would not resist any longer.

In the back of her mind a tiny voice told her she was making a mistake; that if she died he would kill everyone she loved just to spite her. She pushed the voice away; she knew she didn't have a choice in this. It was his decision alone. And if he was so far gone that he would kill her loved ones just for fun then she would make him pay in her next life.

 _I would make him regret ever laying a hand on them._

But deep down, she knew he wouldn't do such a thing. He may have said otherwise, but Elena knew he cared about them as much as she did. Then again, she was his mate and yet here she was, about to be murdered by him.

"Elena." A voice spoke, shaking her from her reverie.

"Damon?" The young vampire's voice was hoarse, letting her know it had been a long period of time since she spoke. _How long was I unconscious for?_

"I'm glad to see you're awake." Elena heard a switch being flipped before a bright light blinded her. She hissed, and attempted to cover her eyes with her forearm. She very quickly realized that this would not be possible, for her wrists and ankles were shackled with the metal coated in vervain.

 _So that's what the pain was._

"Don't be so dramatic, Elena." Damon scolded, walking closer to her position on the floor. He crouched down and tilted his head at her, as if he was analyzing his prey before he struck.

Snarling, Elena flung herself towards him. The shackles stopped her, making her halt less than an inch from Damon's face. She growled at him, furious with the fact that he would cage her up like an animal. If he was going to kill her, the least he could do was finish her with respect.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Damon smirked, "Haven't you learned any manners?"

Elena glared at him, "Says the one who is about to kill his mate. Even the uncivilized vampires know that killing their mates is the worst thing they could ever do."

Elena heard the sound of his palm hitting her face before she felt it. Her eyes instantly watered, making it seem as if she were about to cry. She wouldn't doubt it if she was.

"You know, Elena," Damon started, before standing, "I was planning on doing this quickly, with little to no pain on your part. But now, now I think I'll have some fun with you before I finish the job."

The young woman's eyes widened dramatically before she tried to scoot herself away from him, only to find the wall stopped her from moving any further back. Elena began to feel sick when Damon started to unbuckle his belt. "Damon, wait, don't do this. Please!"

The vampire shook his head at her, before pulling down his dark jeans and boxers until they were at his knees. His cock sprang out, already fully erect. Elena felt her heartbeat quicken in fear, and from the memories of how he felt inside her. She knew this would hurt much, _much_ more. He began to walk towards her until he was inches from her face. " _Suck._ "

"Damon no-" Elena cried, just as he grabbed her jaw and thrust his erection inside of her mouth. She gagged, and tried to move her head away from him. In response, Damon gripped her hair firmly and pushed her even further down his long shaft. Tears formed in Elena's eyes, and quickly began falling down her cheeks. The young woman's jaw almost instantly began to feel sore because of Damon's harsh thrusts. She couldn't believe that the person she loved was going to do this to her. Elena felt herself being to cry in ernest now, and hiccuped, causing her teeth to scrape against his skin.

"If you bite me, I will kill every person in this town." Damon threatened. Elena felt herself being deprived of oxygen, but knew she would never feel the ache in her chest from it. As much as she hated it, Damon could never stop and she would never pass out from lack of oxygen. She shifted her eyes upward, and glared at him through her tears. _I hate you, Damon._

Elena couldn't stand to see the face of her torturer anymore. Squeezing her eyes shut, she placed her palm's on Damon's thighs to balance herself. Tears and spit fell off her face to the cement below her, and her scalp ached from being tugged on by Damon. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, he pulled away from her. Elena breathed in a large, unnecessary breath.

Damon grabbed her hair once more, and forced her to look at him. "What, did you not enjoy it? Is it because it wasn't my _brother's_ dick in your mouth?"

Elena clenched her jaw in fury. "I hate you."

The man smirked down at her, "Good."

He suddenly pulled her hair upwards, causing her scalp to scream in agony. Whimpering, the young woman quickly stood on shaking legs. Elena realized then that her whole body was trembling, in fear or anger, she wasn't sure. As she stood, the shackles shifted slightly forward, the movement causing her flesh to begin to burn. She hissed in pain.

"The shackles are the last thing you should to worry about." Damon stated before pushing her body against the wall, and pressing their bodies tightly against one another. He grabbed the chains that bound her shackles to the floor, and quickly pulled them from their cement home before he burned himself badly. Releasing them, he grasped her forearms and lifted her arms above her head. The man once again grabbed the chains and wrapped them around a hook above her, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes.

"Damon please st-" Elena began, but stopped when he placed his hand at the top of her shirt. Damon suddenly pulled down, causing her shirt to rip down the middle, leaving her torso exposed. Elena gasped in shock.

"Do you remember," Damon started, hooking his fingers on the insides of her jeans, "the first time we made love?"

Elena started to breathe heavily in fear; she knew she was too weak from the vervain to fight back. He was going to rape her. Her mate was going to rape her, when if he had come back peacefully she would have given herself freely to him.

When she didn't answer, Damon continued, "It was here, at the Boarding House."

He abruptly tore the sides of her jeans until they where at a pile on her feet. Bending swiftly, he removed the fabric and her shoes before throwing them to the side. He straightened, and smirked at Elena. "You were so nervous. You never admitted to it, but I knew you were."

Elena felt tears begin to form in her eyes once again. She remembered the day perfectly; she didn't need him to repeat it to her. The vampire could recite every word spoken, and every action taken. It pained her to realize he remembered as well.

"You were wearing the sexiest little thing. A blue babydoll, if I remember correctly." His fingers began to slide into the top of her panties, causing Elena to try to move away from him in fear.

"Damon-" She begged.

"Shh..." Damon shushed, gripping the top of her panties in his fist before tugging violently, causing them to rip loudly, "now if you don't stop squirming I'm going to have to get more vervain."

Elena quickly stopped moving and stared at Damon with harsh contempt. She knew if he put more vervain on her shackles she wouldn't be able to fight at all. She would probably lose consciousness, from how weak she was already.

"Anyways," Damon began again, "I had just come home from a meeting with the Council when I found you laying on my bed."

He, in an almost gentle manner, ran his fingers from her bra to her navel. Elena stopped breathing. She could feel herself trembling, and her calves ached from being forced to stand on her tiptoes for such a long period of time. Elena's cheeks were continuously covered in her tears, for every time he spoke of that night her heart burned more and more for their lost love.

"You were so beautiful." He stated softly, his fingers traveling even further south until they reached her nether folds. Elena felt as if she was going to faint from her terrified she was. She had been ready to die a quick, easy death, but she would never be ready to be ruined by her mate.

He suddenly thrusted two fingers inside of her, causing her to scream in pain. She wasn't aroused, _at all_ , and when his fingers entered her they tore at the soft lining of her vagina. He continued pumping in and out of her, adding another finger at some point as well. Elena sobbed, and turned her head away from him.

"What? Do do I not arouse you anymore, Elena?" He snarled, thrusting harder and making Elena scream once again in agony. "Would you rather have _Stefan's_ fingers inside you?"

"Stop!" Elena begged, feeling her lower body begin to go numb from the pain. He had to have been using supernatural strength, for his thrusts caused her body to jolt upwards with every movement. "I never cheated on you! I would never do that do you!"

"Don't lie to me!" He roared, thrusting his fingers even further in her. Elena cried out in agony, begging him to stop with everything she had.

"Why won't you believe me?!" She shouted, her words coming out broken from how harshly she was crying.

"I saw you with him myself!" Damon snarled, before covering her mouth roughly with his hand. "Now shut the _fuck_ up, and don't even _think_ about biting my hand."

Elena tried to shout from underneath his hand, trying to make him see reason. Damon only ignored her plea and continued his recollection of their first night together. "Where was I again?"

He paused in thought, "Oh! You were beautiful that night."

He pulled his fingers from her, and Elena distantly realized they were covered in her blood. She felt her body sag in relief from finally being free of the torture. Damon wiped his fingers on the torn fabric that was once her shirt, and moved his hands so that they were resting behind her knees. Suddenly, he lifted her legs until they were wrapped around her waist, causing Elena's mind to blink back into focus from where it was drifting into unconsciousness. She quickly realized that his erection was settled against her folds, and she began to panic. "No, no, no-"

"You were begging me to make love to you." Damon interrupted her, and positioned his head at the opening of her vagina. "Too bad you aren't begging now."

And with that, Damon thrust inside of Elena. She screamed in such agony that she thought she would lose her voice. Her lower body burned, far more than any amount of vervain would. He moaned, and began to move inside of her, increasing his pace and force with each thrust.

Elena wanted to die. Before, she had only accepted that death was at her doorstep. Now, she wanted to stake herself through her heart. The pain was unimaginable, and she felt as if she were being torn apart from the inside out. "Stop! Stop!"

"My Elena wouldn't have said that!" Damon growled, thrusting forward deeper than before, causing Elena to scream. "She would have begged for more! A whore like you shouldn't be picky! You should be thankful you get one last fuck in before I kill you."

Elena let her head fall back, sobbing so harshly that she was glad she didn't need oxygen, for she would have been deeply deprived of it. She clenched her eyes shut, not wanting to see her rapist's face any longer.

Damon's mouth roamed her neck and upper body, covering her skin with deep bite marks that quickly healed. She almost wished they couldn't heal, and that after one too many wounds she would simply bleed out.

She felt so completely disgusted with herself, that in that moment she regretted ever mating a _monster_ like him. Her mind swam with past memories of their time together, twisting and churning to the rhythm of his thrusts until all that was left of her memory of him was who he was in that moment. Her rapist. Her torturer. Not her Damon. In her mind in that very moment, Damon was dead, and so was Elena. He had carved a path from her insides out, leaving a fiery trail in its wake, and destroying everything she thought she was. He left her with an empty body, mind, and soul. He had broken her.

Elena tried to picture _her_ Damon standing beside her, comforting her through her never-ending agony. Yet, with every movement of _his_ hips made her Damon fade further and further away, until she was left alone. Distantly, she realized that this would be the first time in almost a year where she wasn't alright with being alone.

 _Kill me, please. Kill me._

Damon gripped her jaw, and forced her to turn her face towards his. She slowly opened her eyes, and tried not to think of the pain he was causing her. "I want you to look at me as I ruin you."

Elena stared at him, not having the will power to refuse. The only peace she was granted with was the fact that after this was over, she would be dead. She would not have to live any longer in a world where her mate was her rapist. Elena was ready to die at his hands.

Suddenly, a loud crash sounded in front of her. Elena slowly looked up to see Stefan, who had broken the lock on the large metal door that kept her in her hell. Damon quickly pulled out of her and pulled up his pants with a supernatural speed before turning towards Stefan. Without him to hold her up, Elena felt her body sag towards the floor, causing her wrists to scream in pain. She welcomed this pain, for it was almost a comfort from the agonizing burning that radiated throughout her lower body.

"What have you done?!" Stefan shouted, throwing Damon against the left wall of the room. Cement broke and fell around him, causing the air to become cloudy with dust. Elena could faintly see Caroline entering the room.

"Elena!" Caroline cried, rushing over to Elena in a blink of an eye. She quickly removed the chains from the hook, hissing when her skin was burned as a result. Elena instantly began to collapse until Caroline lifted her up. She broke off the shackles on Elena's wrists and ankles, and lifted the broken woman into her arms before heading towards the door. Elena stared up at the ceiling, and tried to ignore the sounds of Stefan beating Damon senselessly.

"Good thing you have supernatural strength, right Car?" Elena whispered hoarsely, feeling herself beginning to lose consciousness completely. Her body was completely numb.

Caroline tried to laugh, but a sob cut her off. "You're going to be alright, Elena. We won't let him hurt you anymore."

Elena continued to stare up at the ceiling, watching it change as Caroline moved from room to room until she reached a spare bedroom. Elena silently thanked Caroline that it was the room farthest from _his_ room. The young woman set Elena down on the bed, causing Elena to whimper in pain.

"Oh honey, what has he done to you?" Caroline said softly, brushing some of Elena's tangled hair from her face.

"Caroline?" Elena whispered, wanting to know something before the darkness consumed her.

"Yes?"

"Am I a whore?" She whispered, feeling her voice crack from how raw it was.

Caroline gasped, "No! Who would ever say that about you?"

"My mate did." Elena smiled sadly, before letting her eyes shut. Part of her hoped they would be shutting for the last time.

* * *

Hours later, Elena opened her eyes in disappointment.

 _I'm not dead._

She stared at the ceiling above her, feeling an emptiness inside of her that wasn't there before. The young vampire couldn't feel anything. She knew she was fully healed, and she hated it. She wasn't supposed to be here. _I'm. Not. Dead._

Sitting up on the bed in a blink of an eye, Elena studied the room around her. She distantly recognized the room, and felt her stomach churn with anxiety when she realized she was still in the Boarding House. _He's here._

With that thought, Elena jumped from the bed and ran to the door, swinging it open so quickly that it crashed against the wall. She heard Stefan and Caroline stop talking, and then the sound of footsteps approaching the hallway connected to the stairway. Feeling panic swell in her chest, the young woman ran down the stairs so quickly that even the fastest of vampires would have been astonished.

Elena reached the entrance to the storage area of the large house and flung open the metal door. Inside there were blood bags, vervain, and most importantly: wooden stakes.

Hearing footsteps beginning to approach the door, the vampire grabbed one of the stakes. She positioned it against her chest and pushed until she felt a thin line of blood begin to run down her chest. Part of her realized that Caroline had changed her into new clothes.

"Elena?" Caroline questioned, before walking into the room. Stefan followed and they both paused in shock at what they saw; Elena, sitting on the ground with a stake at her chest. "Elena!"

"Don't come any closer." Elena warned, digging the stake even further into her chest. She almost closed her eyes in bliss from the pain. _Now_ she felt something.

"Elena, what are you doing?" Stefan asked with an incredulous expression on his face. Caroline began to cry, and tried to cover her mouth to silence her tears.

"He came here to kill me." Elena stated, "I am ready to die now. I'm finishing the job for him."

"Are you insane?!" Caroline shouted. Elena remembered when just a few days ago she had asked her the same question. Now, Elena could answer yes.

"My mate, the love of my life, has brutally raped me." Elena said, digging the stake slightly deeper to make up for the pain she cannot feel from that statement. "I have the right to want to die."

"We can help you get through this, Elena." Stefan reasoned, "This doesn't have to be the end for you."

"Yes," Elena began, finally feeling the pain she had somehow began to miss. Tears welled up in her eyes and fell over, causing the young woman to blink rapidly to be able to see, "It does."

Without waiting another second, Elena thrust the rest of the stake through her own chest. In the distance, she heard someone screaming and realized it was herself. She could faintly hear Stefan and Caroline yelling and rushing over to her as she hit the ground. A black haze steadily covered her vision, and her hearing became less and less acute.

In the midst of all of the yelling and screaming and tears, Elena Salvatore heard one single voice rise above the noise.

"Elena."

Then, _darkness._


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone! I'm sorry for taking a few days to update, school was really taking up all of my time to edit and go over this chapter! I decided that from now on I'm going to update once a week so that I can make every chapter as well written as the first two! Thank you for the wonderful reviews, and for sticking with me through these angst-y chapters! I know it can get old pretty fast, but I still have to cover some really important details before we move along!**

 **Also, let me know what you guys think about having a Damon POV chapter? Not 1** **st** **person, but having the chapter centered on his thoughts and actions. I wouldn't go back to the beginning and start from there for his chapter, that's just not my style. It might recap a few key pieces in explaining why he's acting all crazy, but other than that it will act as the next chapter, not everything you already know from Damon's POV!**

 **Now that that's been covered, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I listened to Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt while writing this chapter! Enjoy!**

 **(www). polyvore (dot com) /cgi/collection?id=4721848**

" _She would never be caught unprepared again, she swore to herself. She would never trust. Never love. Never put faith in other human beings again. She would learn all she could of the shape and substance of the world, and she would find a way to survive in it."_

* * *

" _Damon?" She whispered, tracing imaginary figures on his bare chest._

" _Yes?" He whispered in return, with his fingers delicately threading through her chocolate locks._

" _I love you."_

 _He stopped his movements, and she placed her head under his chin. Resuming his motions, he responded. "I know."_

 _She wondered for a moment if he would ever be able to say it back, but stopped herself. She wouldn't pressure him._

* * *

" _Why can't you just admit it?!" She screamed, throwing her hands in the air in disbelief._

" _There's nothing to admit!" He shouted in return, and the young woman was baffled by how easily he could lie to her._

" _I know you still love her!"_

 _There was a pause, and then he spoke. "I don't love her. But if I did, at least she wouldn't question my feelings for her."_

 _She felt her heart break at his words._

* * *

" _I don't hate you for loving him," Stefan began, running his hands through his hair, "I just wish you would admit it to me."_

 _She felt tears well up in her eyes, "Stefan, I'm sorry. After you left…"_

 _Stefan nodded, looking down at the ground as he did so. "I need time to think. I hope you have found happiness with him."_

" _I have." She replied, her tears beginning to fall over._

 _And with that, he was gone._

* * *

 _He pulled her close, kissing down her neck and whispering to her things she could never repeat aloud. Her pulse quickened, and he gripped her more tightly._

" _Do it." She breathed, feeling as if she could get high from his touch alone._

 _He paused in his ministrations, looking up at her with concern. "Are you sure?"_

" _I've never been more sure of anything in my life."_

 _He smiled at her, and in return she tilted her head back. She felt his fangs at her neck, before he bit down._

 _She never thought she would become addicted the feeling of it, but after the first bite she couldn't get enough._

* * *

" _I take you, Elena Gilbert, to be my wife from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."_

" _I take you, Damon Salvatore, to be my husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."_

* * *

Elena sat up with a gasp, clutching her chest as if she was in pain. And in pain she was. Looking down at her chest, she saw that it was covered in bandages. She knew exactly what the bandages covered.

 _I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be alive._

She did not understand why she was still here; she remembered staking herself through the heart. How could she have possibly survived that?

Glaring down at the bandages, the young vampire dug her fingers underneath the wrappings and torn them away from her. She hissed in pain, but gasped at what she saw. There was a gaping wound in her chest, right next to where her heart was.

 _I missed. I fucking missed._

Elena laughed, feeling tears form in her eyes. _I can't even kill myself correctly._

She stared down at the bandages in her hands, feeling disgust begin to form in her heart. Elena knew she wouldn't get another chance to end her life. She knew without a doubt that Caroline and Stefan would keep her under lock and key until she got 'better'.

Or, as better as one can get after their mate ruined them.

The thought caused her chest to flare up in pain, making Elena wrap her arms around her chest. She didn't know how to live with herself after what _he_ did. She didn't _want_ to live, but apparently that wasn't her decision now.

Elena thought back to her dreams, her memories that she had seen while unconscious. The young woman hugged herself tighter at the thought of their wedding. They had not been married for even a year before he left. Only for a few months, now that she thought about it.

She suddenly realized that their anniversary had been only a couple of months ago. He was still gone at the time. Elena now wished he had stayed that way.

How was she supposed to go on with her life after this? She would never move on, that just wasn't a possibility. He was her _mate_. She couldn't be separated from him unless one of them died.

 _I wish I had just let him kill me in the forest._

The woman stood up from the bed, biting her lip to stop the scream that threatened to be released when she stretched her wound. She realized that she was naked from the waist up, and felt even more disgusted with herself.

 _His lips were on this skin. My skin._

She slowly walked up to the mirror standing in the corner of the room, being careful to not stretch her wound. Elena stared at herself, seeing a broken shell of who she used to be. Reaching her hand up, she touched the skin where bruises and hickeys should have been from his touch. With each touch, a memory came with it.

She remembered him biting her throat, leaving a trail of blood to run down her chest. Elena noticed that it was gone now.

 _Someone must have cleaned me while I was unconscious._

The thought of someone seeing her after what _he_ did made her sick to her stomach. She glared at her reflection, hating herself and the skin she was forced to live in. The woman didn't want to be in the same skin that he touched. That he had bit, kissed, and torn apart.

Elena didn't want to look at herself and see him.

Taking in a deep, unnecessary breath, Elena walked towards the closet to get a sweater before something stopped her- a memory from the recent past. She realized it was from the night she had attempted her suicide.

" _Elena."_

At the time, she hadn't been able to tell who had said her name. She had been too close to the darkness. But now, now she remembered clearly.

It had been Damon's voice.

Elena felt a sharp jab of pain and knew it wasn't from the gaping hole in her chest. She didn't know how he had been there. Why had he been there?

 _He couldn't even let me die in peace. He probably wanted to do it himself._

The young vampire clenched her jaw, forcing herself not to cry. She clutched her chest and leaned against the wall. She allowed her head to fall back, the dull thud echoed around the room, making everything seem distant. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture her Damon. But just as when he was ruining her, she couldn't see him.

Her Damon was dead.

She felt hollow inside at the thought.

* * *

 _They're here. I know they are._

The young vampire stepped out into the long corridor, making no sound as she moved from one side of the house to the other. Elena couldn't face them just yet. She couldn't face what had happened to her. Call her a coward, but she wasn't strong enough to speak of _his_ actions.

"Elena?" Bonnie asked, making Elena stiffen.

Slowly turning around, the vampire stared at the witch as if she had never seen her before. "Bonnie."

"When did you wake up?" The woman questioned, beginning to walk closer to her. In return, Elena backed away.

"A few minutes ago." Elena stared at Bonnie, not trusting her actions.

 _She's his friend. She's on his side._

"Elena?" Bonnie frowned, worried about her friend. Elena looked at her as if she were about to attack the young witch. "It's me. I'm not going to hurt you."

The vampire began to pant, feeling panic swell in your chest. Her eyes widened, and she continued backing up. "You're going to tell him where I am. Please don't tell him where I am."

Bonnie's eyes widened drastically, "Why the hell would I tell Damon where you are?"

Elena froze at the sound of his name. She felt paralyzed; her body was frozen with fear. When she regained consciousness that morning, she had only hazy memories of what he did. Now she remembered perfectly.

* * *

 _"No, no, no-"_

 _"You were begging me to make love to you." Damon interrupted her, and positioned his head at the opening of her vagina. "Too bad you aren't begging now."_

 _And with that, Damon thrust inside of Elena. She screamed in such agony that she thought she would lose her voice. Her lower body burned, far more than any amount of vervain would. He moaned, and began to move inside of her, increasing his pace and force with each thrust._

 _Elena wanted to die. Before, she had only accepted that death was at her doorstep. Now, she wanted to stake herself through her heart. The pain was unimaginable, and she felt as if she were being torn apart from the inside out. "Stop! Stop!"_

 _"My Elena wouldn't have said that!" Damon growled, thrusting forward deeper than before, causing Elena to scream. "She would have begged for more! A whore like you shouldn't be picky! You should be thankful you get one last fuck in before I kill you."_

* * *

Elena began to breathe heavily, feeling as if something was wrapping its hands around her neck, slowly choking her until she couldn't breathe at all.

"Elena?"

She snapped back into reality, the feeling much like that of whiplash. Elena stared at Bonnie, watching as the young witch's face showed just how worried she had been.

"Yes?"

"What just happened?"

Elena only continued to stare at the other woman, still not trusting her. Part of her screamed that she was being ridiculous; that Bonnie would never betray her so horribly. Her instincts quickly quieted that voice.

"Bonnie?"

"Yeah?" The young woman replied.

"Where is he?"

Bonnie frowned, and Elena could easily see she was trying to decide whether or not to tell her the truth. Elena felt something close to gratefulness when she gave in. "He's in one of the cells downstairs. He's been in there since Caroline and Stefan found you."

Elena nodded her head, before heading back upstairs. She didn't want to see anyone else just yet. The young woman knew she wouldn't be able to handle their worried glances and words of comfort.

As soon as she shut the door to the room she woke up in, a thought stopped her dead.

If he had been in the cell the entire time, how could Elena possibly have heard his voice before she fainted?

* * *

" _You're so beautiful." He grinned at her, and in that moment he was her sunlight. He was her world._

" _You're such a charmer." She laughed, her eyes crinkling with happiness. She hadn't laughed so freely in years._

 _He smiled softly, reaching up to place a stray piece of hair behind her delicate ear. "Only for you."_

* * *

" _Don't even think about it, Damon Salvatore!" She warned, trying desperately to contain her laughter._

" _What? Me?" He faked a look of hurt, placing his hand upon his chest in an offended manner, "I would never!"_

" _If you so much as think about it, I will know, and I will find you."_

 _He waved her off, "Yeah, yeah. Don't mess with the birthday cake or else."_

" _You are not putting blood in the cake as a prank! That's not funny!" She defended, almost allowing herself to release a laugh. "It's just…gross!"_

" _Only to the humans." He winked at her._

 _She rolled her eyes in amusement._

* * *

" _She…she's-" She started, feeling her words catch in her throat._

" _I know." He interrupted, not wanting to hear her say the words._

 _They both stared down at the closed casket, wondering how someone so kind, so innocent in this battle, had died at Klaus' hands._

 _Tears formed in her eyes, and she looked away._

 _She couldn't watch as they lowered her aunt into the ground._

* * *

Elena awoke, not realizing she had fallen back asleep. She looked down at her chest and pulled down the fabric covering her. The wound was healing quickly; in a few days it would be as if it never existed.

 _If only I could disappear along with it._

Sighing, the young woman leaned back in the bed and stared up at the ceiling. She lost herself in her memories that had resurfaced in her dreams, feeling the emotions that came with them as if they happened yesterday.

A knock at the door interrupted her daydream. "Elena?"

Stefan entered the room, looking tired. He ran a hand through his hair, and took a seat in the chair next to her bed. Elena wondered if anyone else had sat there while she had been unconscious.

"How are you healing?"

"It's getting better." _If only I could too._

Stefan nodded and stared down at his hands. "I shouldn't have let him come back."

Elena's eyes widened, but she said nothing in reply. She had no words to comfort him or his guilt.

"God dammit!" He shouted, standing and throwing his hands in the air. The young woman jumped in response, scooting slightly further back on the bed. Stefan noticed and calmed down. "I should have been there to stop him."

"There's no way you could have known-" Elena started.

"It doesn't matter! I knew he sounded different when I talked to him. He was adamant about seeing you before he came to the Boarding House. After leaving you, it should have seemed odd that he wanted to see you so badly. Fuck!" He began to pace, running his hands through his hair so harshly that Elena wondered if he was pulling strands out.

"Stop."

Stefan stopped pacing, and stared at her in confusion. "What?"

"I said stop." Elena stated, sitting up more in the bed with a wince, "There's no point in wishing things had happened differently."

She realized how hypocritical she sounded. _It's much easier to tell someone to do something than to do it yourself._

Stefan began to open his mouth to speak, but Elena interrupted him. "Have you spoken to him?"

He clenched his jaw, and looked down at the ground. "Yes."

"And?" Part of her didn't want to know what he had said, or if he regretted what he did.

"Well, there's good and bad news." Stefan stated, retaking his seat in the chair. "The good news is that I know why he did what he did."

"And the bad news?" Elena held her breath.

"He was compelled by Klaus. Klaus made him believe you cheated on him and that he wanted you dead. Damon left to resist the urge to kill you. I'm guessing he couldn't fight against the compulsion anymore, and came back to kill you."

Elena felt the world pause around her. She could hear herself breathing, and distantly heard Stefan saying her name.

"My Damon's still alive."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they truly do make my day! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that plot twist in chapter 3! I think this just might be the first time where I don't have a lot to say here! Oh, and I think in a few chapters or so there will be a Damon POV chapter! Also, this chapter is placed roughly a few days after chapter 3, so it's been about a week since chapter 2 in the story. Lastly, I listened to In My Veins by Andrew Belle during this chapter.**

 **Oh and I won't be able to update until after the 13** **th** **! I'm going to be out of the country until then, and I can't bring my laptop with me. I will try to write some of chapter 5 on my phone, but I won't finish it on there. Sorry guys! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

" _Anyone can give up; it is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would expect you to fall apart, now that is true strength."_

* * *

She could hear him breathing, just behind the door. The young woman had never been so nervous; at least not since she had become a vampire. Her heartbeat quickened, fluttering inside of her chest like a hummingbird's wings. With every step down the stairs she had questioned herself, repeatedly rethinking her decision to see the man who could hurt her more than anyone else.

Elena raised her hand to the metal door, lightly brushing her fingertips against its surface. She knew that he could sense her; his heartbeat had quickened slightly in alertness. She reminded herself that although he hadn't hurt her on his own free will, he was still compelled to kill her. She reminded herself that right then, in that moment, he was still a monster.

She could see part of him through the small, barred window, and noticed that he was chained to the cement-block wall. _Just like how he had chained me._

Elena shivered at the thought, and contemplated going back upstairs. The others were gone for the day; they planned to attempt a tracking spell to find Klaus. And knowing just how well hidden the Original vampire was, it would take hours to even get a general idea as to where he was located. That left the young woman alone in the large household. It left her alone with him.

Sucking in a deep breath, she lowered her hand to the lock situated above the handle. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she unlocked the door and placed her hand on the handle. The metal felt warm against her now too-cold skin, reminding her that she was no longer a human, and that she wasn't weak.

"Hmm…" He hummed, startling Elena. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you anytime soon."

Elena clenched her jaw and pushed down her anxiety. She had to ignore him if she ever wanted to get through this. The chains were coated with vervain, and Stefan had said he put more on every couple of hours. She was safe.

With that thought, she pushed open the door.

"You just can't take a hint, can you?" He sneered, sitting up slightly from his position on the packed-down dirt floor. He was bare from the waist up, making Elena react to him even after what he had done to her. She cursed the mating bond for making her feel such a way, but part of her knew she would have felt the same way without it.

The young woman felt her heart pound in her chest as she looked at him; he was beautiful, as always. Even with dried blood covering the majority of his body, he was more beautiful than any other being. His dark hair was matted down and his face was covered in dirt and blood, but she could still see him through it all. She would always be able to see _him_.

Elena stood in the doorframe, feeling her chest constrict in pain. Looking at him caused her an agony that even she couldn't explain. "You can't make me hate you, Damon."

"You always were negative, Elena." He smirked, sending chills down her spine. "I can make you feel anything I want you to feel. Hate, love, fear; name it, and I promise you I will have no problem demonstrating just how right I am."

"If I can forgive you for brutally raping me, then I can forgive you for anything else you might do." Elena snarled, feeling anger beginning to form in her chest. As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. _That's what he wants to hear. I'm just giving him what he wants._

"See? There's anger." He replied calmly, leaning back into the wall casually, as if he wasn't chained or locked in a cell. "You're very predictable."

Elena breathed in slowly, calming herself down. _I came here for a reason._ "I know why you're acting like this."

"Oh really?" He sneered, narrowing his cerulean eyes at her. "Please enlighten me then, Elena."

Elena paused, trying to find the courage to tell him. The vampire knew he wouldn't believe her, but she had to try. "You were compelled by Klaus."

He stared at her for a moment, and the woman began to think he hadn't heard her, no matter how impossible the thought was. Silence lingered between them, making Elena feel much further from him than she actually was. When he finally spoke, his response shocked Elena. "I know."

"You know? How could you possibly know?" Elena questioned frantically, thoughts racing through her mind so quickly that she thought she would become dizzy. _If he knows, then why did he rape me? Did he want to do it? This can't be right. He has to be lying._

"Although Katherine and Klaus are very good at keeping secrets," He paused, smirking in arrogance, "I'm even better at figuring them out."

"What is that supposed to mean?" The young woman borderline shouted, confusion and panic building inside of her more and more with each second that passed. Doubt filtered into her mind, washing away any confidence she had before she stepped into the room. She didn't know how to handle what he had just told her. _He knew_.

"A vampire knows when it's being compelled by an Original. They don't know what the order is, but they know it's there." He stated calmly, "That, and I knew that I would never willingly run away with Katherine. She's fucking psycho."

"So why did you try to kill me? Why did you _rape_ me, Damon?" She glared at him, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Damon glared back at her, his face contorting with anger. "I've been fighting this compulsion for a _year_ , Elena. I turned off my switch two months after I was forced to leave you. Klaus compelled me overand _over_ again, trying to make your death the only thing I could think about."

His chest began to raise and fall quickly with his harsh breaths, making Elena realize just how angry he was. "I fought so _fucking_ hard against the compulsion. I hoped, _fucking prayed_ , for months that you would come after me."

He paused, glaring at her more heatedly, "But you never did. I gave up Elena. I let him compel me as much as he wanted to because my _mate_ didn't come to fucking look for me after I supposedly 'took off'."

"What was I supposed to do?" Elena cried, stepping fully into the room. "One day you were home, then the next you and all of your clothes were gone! I didn't get an explanation, or a goodbye. I asked _everyone_ if they had seen you. I went two hundred miles in every direction, hoping to god that I would run into you. It was a _cold case_ , Damon. You practically vanished!"

"And then you just gave up, right?" He snarled, standing up in the corner of the room. Elena briefly wondered why Stefan had given Damon any slack to the chains. "You got tired, and went home. I would have searched for you until I collapsed! It's good to know that I was right when I said you're a shitty mate!"

"You think I just gave up?" The young woman yelled, moving closer to Damon in her anger. "I didn't stop until Stefan dragged me home after he found me unconscious in the middle of nowhere! Even after that, I didn't stop! I cut myself off from the rest of the world. You're not the only one who turned off their switch!"

Elena was panting by the time she was finished, tears streaking her cheeks endlessly. She glared at Damon, feeling her anger overwhelm her with its blazing heat. Damon glared back at her with just as much force, "And yet you still cheated on me."

Elena threw her hands up in the air, laughing dryly in disbelief. "Can't you see, Damon? Klaus _compelled_ you to think that. I would never cheat on you, and it makes me sick thinking that you believe that I would."

"I saw it with my own eyes!" Damon growled, stepping forward only to be stopped by his chains.

"How? Unless Katherine slept with Stefan then you saw nothing!" Elena shouted, exasperation laced in her words. "And as far as I know, he would never do that to us!"

"Then how could I have seen you with him, huh?" Damon yelled in return, yanking against his chains in aggravation. "Right before I was forced to leave, I saw you two together! In _our_ bed!"

"What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" Elena stared at him, truly confused as to how he could have 'seen' that. "I was in our bed, _sleeping_ when you left. You left in the middle of the night after injecting vervain into my neck while I was asleep!"

Damon shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "No, I never put vervain in your neck! I was in the hallway when I saw you and Stefan."

The young woman raised her hands to her forehead, feeling her frustration mix with her increasing confusion. "This doesn't make any sense! How could our sides of the story be so different? Klaus couldn't have compelled all of that."

The man in front of her growled in anger, yanking at his chains once more. "I don't fucking know how, Elena! All I know is that I can't stand to even look at you, let alone try to play detective with you."

Elena stared at him, suddenly remembering that this still wasn't her Damon. He was still a monster; he was still her rapist. Her heart began to beat faster in anxiety, and she felt her breath begin to quicken. Her head and chest began to ache with the memories that surfaced from that night. Somehow, she hadn't had a flashback of that night in days. But being with him now, seeing him act like a completely different person, took such an emotional toll on her that when she left she knew she just might break down. _How could I have let myself forget?_

* * *

 _"What? Do I not arouse you anymore, Elena?" He snarled, thrusting harder and making Elena scream once again in agony. "Would you rather have_ _Stefan's_ _fingers inside you?"_

 _"Stop!" Elena begged, feeling her lower body begin to go numb from the pain. He had to have been using supernatural strength, for his thrusts caused her body to jolt upwards with every movement. "I never cheated on you! I would never do that do you!"_

 _"Don't lie to me!" He roared, thrusting his fingers even further in her. Elena cried out in agony, begging him to stop with everything she had._

* * *

"Is there something on my fucking face?" Damon spoke, shaking the young vampire from her memory. She shook her head, and turned around to leave. _I have to get away from him._

"I'm going to see if the others found Klaus yet." Elena stated, walking away from the man in the corner of the room. "Stefan will be back later to feed you."

"Like I'm some kind of animal." He snarled, sitting down on the ground with a growl.

"Only animals do what you've done to me." Elena stared at Damon in disgust. "Maybe if you acted like you have even a semblance of a soul, we would treat you differently."

"Tell that to the man who turned me into this!" He lunged forward, snarling at her with such hatred that the woman stepped back in shock. His fangs were protruded, and his eyes and face turned dark. He was terrifying.

Forcing herself to leave, and not begin to fight with him once more, Elena walked to the door. Before she left, the vampire turned around to look at the feral man in front of her. "I will kill Klaus for doing this to us."

* * *

"Is there any progress?" Elena asked into her cell phone, running her fingers along the weathered covers of the books in the library. _There has to be something in here._

"We aren't really sure," Stefan sighed, sounding tired even for a vampire. "We tracked down Katherine, but she could be hundreds of miles from Klaus by now. Bonnie's getting close to tracking him down, but it will take more time."

Elena stopped her search, and ran her hand through her long hair. Sighing, she sat down on the leather couch in the middle of the room. "How much more time? I'm trying to find something to help us in your library, but so far I'm coming up short. Do you have any books or journals on compulsion?"

Stefan laughed dryly, "You'd have to ask Damon, he's the one who read every since one of those books."

Elena rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Just my luck. I'll ask him tomorrow; I can only take so much of him in one day."

"You saw him today?" The vampire questioned, sounding concerned. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, Stefan. And even if he tried, he's the one loaded with vervain, not me." Elena stated, her semi-good mood beginning to damper with way the conversation had turned. "That reminds me, I found out something odd about this whole situation."

"Odd?"

"Yeah, Damon and I's stories don't match up at all." Elena furrowed her brow, thinking about the conversation her and Damon had had. "He said he saw you and I _together_ in the room, when I had actually been sleeping. He even injected vervain into my neck so I wouldn't wake up as he left. But he doesn't remember any of that."

"That doesn't sound like compulsion." Stefan sighed, "Do you think it could have been one of Klaus' witches?"

"A witch that can alter our memories? I suppose so, but they would have to be pretty damn powerful to do that." The young woman could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on, and decided to pour herself a well-earned drink. Standing, she walked over to Damon's beloved liquor cabinet.

"I hope you can smell this from down there you ass." Elena muttered, pouring a glass of his favorite: Bourbon. She took a quick sip, and 'hmm'd at the feeling of it sliding down her throat. _God, I needed this._

"Are you drinking his Bourbon?" Stefan laughed.

"It's the least he do after all the shit he's been pulling lately." Elena growled lightly, chugging the rest of the drink down. Pouring herself another glass, she settled back into the couch with the bottle close by her side.

After a moment, she heard something close to a growl coming from the basement. _Serves him right._

Stefan stopped laughing at Elena's statement. "How have you been handling everything?"

"I could be better." The vampire stated, feeling the memories begin to surface once more. After taking another sip, they stopped.

"Have you been feeding?"

The words reminded her of the burning in her throat and chest; it was a hunger that she could never quench. "I need to go tonight."

Stefan sighed, and Elena imagined he was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just please don't get caught by the Sheriff."

"Have I ever gotten caught by her before?" Elena smirked, downing the rest of her drink.

"Don't get cocky." Stefan stated. "Also, Damon probably will need to feed too. Could you give him a blood bag after you get back?"

Elena groaned. "Fine. But if he upsets me then I'm taking it out on you."

Stefan laughed, but the young woman was being serious. "I'll see you later tonight with the others. Everyone is staying at the Boarding House until we figure this thing out."

"Great, like one big happy family." Elena stated sarcastically. "Tell them to bring more alcohol. I'm going to need it after a round two with Damon."

"Will do."

The young woman sighed after she hung up the phone, wondering how to hell she got herself into such a mess. _So much for not seeing him again tonight._

* * *

"Please, I'll give you anything! I can give you money!" The man begged, trying to back away. His back hit the brick wall behind him, making the vampire smirk.

"I don't want your money."

He shivered in fright, making the woman's instincts purr at the smell of his fear radiating off of him. He smelled like _prey_. "Then what _do_ you want?"

The woman's smirk deepened as she stepped ever closer to the man. She could see his pulse on his neck, beating so frantically that she wondered how he hadn't collapsed already. Bringing her fingers to his jugular, she lightly dragged her nails down his skin. She wanted to rip his throat out with her teeth.

" _This_." She hissed, her face darkening and her fangs elongating before she dove into his neck. Her fangs tore into him as he gargled on his own blood, trying to scream but instead choking.

She closed her eyes in bliss at the taste of his blood. _A negative, my favorite._

The crimson liquid poured into her mouth like a fountain, and the vampire greedily sucked and chewed at his neck. Trails of blood ran down her mouth and neck, staining her white shirt with the color of his life source. He began to quiet down and grip less tightly on her arms.

She drank from him until he went limp in her arms, then she dropped him to the ground with a disgusted look. "That's what you get for murdering women."

She spat on his dead form, before realizing she would have to hide his body. Groaning, she whispered, "For fuck's sake."

* * *

When she arrived back at the Boarding House, it was well past midnight. Elena quickly noticed that the others had still not come back yet. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked inside.

She still felt the high from her feeding, and didn't even realize she was in front of Damon's cell until he spoke to her. "Well, are you going to just stand outside all god damn night?"

Shaking her head to try to clear the fog that had settled in it, the young woman quickly grabbed a blood bag from the other room. Elena then, after taking in a deep breath, entered the cell room.

He was once again seated in the corner of the room, staring at her with hatred. Elena shivered, and stepped closer to hand him the bag. "Here, you need to feed."

He sat up and smirked, giving her a quick once over. "I can see you've already done just that. Who was it this time?"

"A murderer."

Damon shrugged, grabbing the bag from Elena's hands just before she quickly stepped back from him. He drank from the bag like he hadn't fed in months, quickly emptying it. With trails of blood running down his bare chest, he stared up at her. "Another."

Elena shook her head. "Stefan said you could only have one. If you have more the vervain will wear off faster."

Damon growled before leaning back with a 'huff'. "Damn him."

A moment later, Elena heard the sound of the front door opening. "The others are back."

"No shit." He stated, rolling his eyes in aggravation.

"I'm going back upstairs." Elena said, moving back towards the door. "Stefan needs to put more vervain on your chains. I'm just warning you."

"Fuck you Elena." Damon snarled, his fangs protruding from him mouth with a dangerous glint.

The young woman ignored him, leaving the room quickly before he could say anything else. She walked upstairs and was met with the serious faces of the others.

"What's wrong?" Elena asked, feeling anxious. _What if they can't find Klaus?_

"We found Katherine." Bonnie stated, looking down at her hands from her seat on the couch. The house was silent, making Elena feel as if a bad omen were just on the horizon.

"And?"

Caroline sighed, "But there's nothing on Klaus. It's like he's just disappeared off of the face of the earth."

"Well, have you tried calling him?" Elena asked, hoping to god that they weren't so idiotic as to _not_ call the man.

They all looked surprised, then sheepish. Stefan spoke, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "We hadn't thought of that."

"You all are a bunch of fucking idiots." Elena growled. "And because of that, one of you gets to do the talking."

For a second, Elena thought she heard a bang coming from downstairs. Before she could figure out if it was her imagination, a voice spoke.

"I'll talk to him." Damon stated, walking into the living room with an air of arrogance.

Elena took one look at the man before promptly passing out.


End file.
